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Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.
I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.
He just didn’t get that and wanted to be around every second.
I don’t necessarily think that he wanted to hang exclusively with me all the time, but I think he felt insecure that I’d meet other guys when I went out with friends.
I can recall numerous situations—work issues, arguments with people—that my boyfriend was able to help me with based on his own mistakes and victories.
Plus, when it comes to things like taxes, real estate, and life hacks that you pick up over time, an older guy can be a goldmine of useful information. I dated a guy right before my boyfriend who was really … I’m the kind of girl who looks up to independent women, and I tend to put my girlfriends before dating.
It can be tough when you and your older partner can’t share childhood commonalities (dude’s never read a book!?
), but the benefits can certainly outweigh those little things.
Sure, it occasionally happens, but my boyfriend understands that being in a codependent relationship leads to all sorts of trouble and that spending time apart sometimes is key.People are shocked when I respond “mutual friends.” How could a girl in her early 20s be friends with people in their late 30s?Well, I was (and still am) friends with a select crew of musicians and creatives in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend happened to be a part of that scene.Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges, and when you’re dating an older man—we’re talking a decade or more—things can get even trickier.I know this firsthand, as I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been dating an older guy nearly 15 years my senior for almost four years.