Dating black people validating filenames with regularexpressionvalidator
Whether Black women play the role of the chosen or the chooser, oppression reels its head to suppress their romantic desires unless they conform to heteronormative, patriarchal, capitalistic, and often white supremacist standards.
Black women are even conditioned to mother both our children and our lovers.
The amount of rejections I have received when asking men out are countless.
In the past, I did what I have always done and chalked the lack of interest up to the way I positioned myself in the dating field.
We face tangible consequences from society’s accepted view of our Blackness as an object of damnation or hypersexuality.
We have to constantly prove our worth to the world through our work ethic and willingness to perform labor for everyone else.
This entails stepping into what is considered a more “masculine” identity or role of being assertive in a way that is traditionally only reserved for men.
This gendered and racialized deficit in the straight dating market makes it difficult for Black women who are interested in men to engage in their romantic expression with partners at all, but especially partners of their preference.
After a long time of waiting to be chosen, I finally decided that, in order to have a better chance at successful dating experiences, I had to become the chooser.
Even with the unsuccessful results, I enjoyed being asking men out.
It allowed me to push aside the excuse that my inability to take charge of my dating life was the reason for my lack of dates.
However, I have noticed, when asking men out on dates, that they often become extremely uncomfortable at the thought of having been “chosen” by a woman.