Dating difficult people
“It also means that the dating pool has gotten enormous, and we shouldn’t have to put up with jerky behaviour.” How do you spot a creep early enough to not waste your time?
“Some of the warning signs relate to social protocol,” says Bayer.
The advice was wise, but it meant Berube needed to figure out how to deal with a difficult person on a daily basis.
Existing in the world means you’ll inevitably come into contact with a jerk—or at least jerky behaviour from an otherwise decent person.
Sutton also recommends practising what he calls “mind tricks to protect your soul.” If you’re in a meeting presided over by a jerk, try temporal distancing: imagine yourself in the not-so-distant future, somewhere far away from the current situation.
For Chantal Berube*, the devil wore Jones New York instead of Prada.
In the fall of 2015, the 52-year-old fundraiser had been in her new job for only a few weeks when she realized that her boss, the non-profit’s executive director, was going to be a challenge to deal with. She wouldn’t listen to anyone, wouldn’t take any advice.” Berube considered her options.
One way, he says, is to slow the rhythm of your communication with a problem person.
He uses the example of a friend with a demanding thesis supervisor who would send frequent and unfriendly emails at all hours of the day and night.