Dating for a widower
Being a widower is no excuse for being a dick to a current partner.
Sounds like he's pulling out the widower card to disguise the fact he's simply not bothered enough about your perfectly normal wants and needs.
I actually (stupidly) thought he'd be thrilled at a week away together in the sunshine Ah, so she's been deceased longer than they were together. Not at all uncommon, and extremely unfair of him to take up with another woman while he feels that way, but as I said (and you agree) he's using widowerhood to excuse his poor behaviour and to not do anything he doesn't WANT to do, with YOU. Agree to meet on neutral territory, and tell him firmly you are tired of his excuses, that he clearly is not ready for a relationship, so you're moving on. This unhealthy dynamic has gone on too long already.
My BF still has a photo of her as his phone screensaver which is fine by me because he can see me in real life.Although she is still a part of his life and always will be, especially as they have DC's, I always feel that I'm his future.I feel that the relationship with his DW and the relationship with me are different which there is no comparison to, therefore I feel just as loved and important to him as she was.I really don't mean to sound cruel or selfish but by the time I'm talking about going she will have been gone five years (longer than they were together). I know she will always be a huge part of his life, but I'm starting to feel it's being used an excuse now.There are other things we do together that they did and that's ok but he can't do this.
He keeps saying sorry he hurt me and he feels bad etc but to me that's just empty words when nothing is going to change.