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Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success.He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I’m really like. Sure, I get a lot of profile “views”, but no messages.Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages. I started out using Match.com, but then a friend told me that the success rate is much better on OKCupid, so I switched over to that. I’ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things.RD: How long have you been using online dating websites? Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Maybe they don’t like my pictures, or maybe I’m not being as nice as I feel I am in my messages.To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk?Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.
In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy. Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating services.The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.
I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.