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While she may appreciate your ability and generosity to do things for her kids that are hard on a single mom's salary, she deserves the respect of being asked permission.
It's also advisable to exercise good judgment and sensitivity on the issue of sleeping together and the message that this communicates to children and teens.
This objectivity will demonstrate that his actions and character are not as important to you as the feelings you have toward them and their mother.
Early dates with your new love should be breakfasts or lunches when the kids are in school, or evening dates where the children have already been taken to a friend's house or the babysitter's before you arrive.
If you haven't spent that much time around children and young adults, you've got a lot of homework ahead of you.
Neither preach to them nor bore them to death with "when I was your age" stories. Trust takes time to build and children are no exception to this rule.
Long before they start to envision you as a permanent fixture, they need to observe your actions and see how you relate to them as individuals and not just attachments to their mother.
It's likewise critical that you practice the art of sharing and accept that you're not always going to be invited to join them in outings and family activities.