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"A woman will often take a man's silence to be a bad thing because she assumes it means that he doesn't want to communicate with her or he just doesn't care," says William July, Ph D, author of Understanding the Tin Man.
"But that's almost never the case." Your guy does care—he just can't always get the words out.
Sometimes the reason for a guy's silence is obvious: He's engrossed in work; he's concentrating on a video game; he's crammed so much hot dog into his mouth that he's incapable of making a sound.
"In particular, a man fears that his partner will lose her faith in him and her respect for him." Now that you know how vulnerable your guy really is, you may be tempted to baby him. "Even if he doesn't open up that second," July explains, "your confidence in him will raise the odds that he will next time." He's Pondering Some Other Problem Guys are linear thinkers."If he has reassurance that you'll listen and respond more positively than in the past," Farrell says, "he'll feel safe enough to talk." He's Afraid of Being Emotional Think about it: Boys are taught that when they're hurt, they're supposed to simply dust themselves off…without expressing pain.Then when they start dating, women convey that not being emotional is bad."So he keeps things to himself, which makes it impossible for him to participate fully in the relationship." Let's say you describe a fight you're having with a coworker, and your guy doesn't respond.You think he's zoning out, but it may be that he has weighed the situation in his highly logical mind and is siding with your coworker, not you.
It doesn't help that when he sees that his silence is hurting you or pissing you off, he feels even more pressure to say the right thing..becomes even less likely to talk.