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His response to what my friend christened The DTF Method was a simple ‘sure’ followed by an exchange of numbers and a Whatsapp chat.
‘I just figured I may as well cut the bullshit.’ ‘That’s fair. ‘Shall I get us a room or do you want to drink in the hotel lobby first?
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I threw some things into a bag and ran out the door. I legged it down the street with Google Maps as my aide, while the cab driver spammed me with calls to ask if I was there. Before too long, I decided we were probably safe to move up to a room. Much easier than waiting for someone to send a dodgy GIF on Tinder then unmatch you for no reason. Without turning this into erotica, we moved from kissing to pretty much everything else. ‘Sec, I’ve gotta get this.’ I stared after him as he wandered into the bathroom and started shouting down the phone. ‘I can leave if you’ve got stuff to deal with,’ I said, trying not to laugh. I sat motionless for a few seconds, then burst out laughing.
Hang on, he’s calling you.’ He was round the back of the high school I’d asked to meet outside. ‘The cab driver is here already, but my flight isn’t until 9.30,’ he said, looking annoyed. ‘Plus my cousin has turned up with him, I’d better go and sit him in front of Netflix or something,’ he said, pulling his trousers on. ‘It’s fine, I’ll be back in five minutes, and I’ll bring you another drink to say sorry,’ he said, running out of the room. I scrolled through my Twitter and Facebook feeds – although there wasn’t much going on at 4am. ’ ‘I can leave,’ I said again, increasingly feeling that it might be best to just do that regardless. Sure, this guy might have come up with the worst excuse to leg it – literally MID SEX – but maybe he genuinely did have some random crazy life he couldn’t get a handle on and was being shipped off to another country. I told him he’d disrespected me and I wasn’t down with that, then blocked him.
‘He can read me poetry any day.’ ‘True, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.’ Another photo.